From Feb-Mar, 2013, predebut, on BANGTAN BLOG.
I guess these were done based on some jotted point form and words (as seen on image) without writing the lyrics out. RM’s version of rambling…. I don’t know how he can be so poetic.
These are from a few months before his debut. He would have been 18 and 1/2 years old international age, and 20 by Korean age at this time. He would have had his high school graduation in Feb 2013. He would be considered a legal adult for some things starting Jan 1, 2013.
For certain things, they lump all the kids born in same calendar year as becoming legal on Jan 1st of the year that they turn 20 by Korean age, whether your birthday is Jan 1st or Dec 31st. I guess it makes some admin stuff easier to lump everyone born in that calendar year together.
It’s cute to see him feeling like he’s all grown up back then, since he waas still a teenager by western standards. I guess I do have to respect him as an adult even back then, considering he was independent, making decisions about his life, and about to join the adult work force.
I couldn’t find Korean typed lyrics to these, so I had to do these by ear – so some of it may be off. Also, slight adaptations have been made.
Some of these lyrics may be similar to “Adult Child” cover they did, because he did this one right before they did the “Adult Child” cover. This fansub of “Adult Child” is quite good.
There is no longer the thrill of faking an ID to get into a bar.
Have now come to be an adult.
There is no deal
Really, there are so many paths out there
But there is no path for me
I’m just stopped right here
There is no fuel
gil-eun eop-seo = there is no path
gi-leum eop-seo = there is no fuel
All the hyungs that used to do music with me are all up there
I’m the only one without a name
Like spam KaTalk
There is no hope for me, and no work
Literally, “there is no answer/solution for me” — which in Korean means that it’s so hopeless, there is no answer.
OR: There is no answer, and no “1”
“il” = work / 1
KakaoTalk is probably the most popular chat app in Korea.
When the recepient reads the message, the “1” beside the the message disappears.
Spam on KaTalk gets read (the “1” disappear) but don’t get replied to (thus, there is no answer)
Because I know that of myself
There is even less time for rest for me
Since I know this of myself
There is no more worries for me
OR: “There is no more hate for me”
시름/싫음 (worry/hate) sounding similar
Now I’m coming to know the things I didn’t want to know
Friends tell me to go to college
Not understanding my heart.
A little bit of feeling of freedom,
And a bit of feeling of regret,
And a bit of hostility about the unfamiliar world are felt.
Graduation has passed and I already miss the school uniform
The timely snowfall is piling softly
I’m like an deserted island, among my friends.
Entrance exams have finished, but the world is full of problems
ie. Problems on exams are all done, but his world is still full of problems.
It’s now 6 AM
I’m so tired, I think I’m gonna go insane
Think about it, why did I come here?
Right. It’s to be cool like a rap star
But reality is a bit different
The moment I was about to accept this
The company separates us members
And my tears have dried up
Three years have already passed
And time has passed since then
I’ve already become 20
I used to be like a child but now I’ve become an adult
Some say if you wanna go, you gotta take this slow
You gotta cool it off,
Right, this is the dream that I’ve hungered for all this time
So I must move forward
Because I get tired
Because I’ve whipped myself this far
But because this is not what I need anymore
Sometimes, I have to take a rest too
I think of this
So I heal myself with music
I heal myself like this
I want to share these emotions with people
If I could, I’d be really happy
My emotions are deep to that extent
It’s not superficial
The last 3 years where I did not get to pay back my gratitude to people
Now is the time for me to pay it back
I must love people
I want to share these good feelings with people
I believe I can
I want to heal people and give them strength
I think of that as my job
(not sure what he says in first line)
Life, lights, all those things, yo
When I first came here, I was alone
Maybe because of that, I was so lonely
Yeah, I’m the first male trainee for Big Hit
But I didn’t have a buddy anywhere
After locking myself in a lonely empty room at a young age
These kids called “members” came
And then, the time passed
And the number of kids I knew increased, haha
And somehow, now there were more than twenty already
And my age was more than twenty
And three years have passed
All that sweat, all that time,
If we could be compensated for those, I will do anything
I’m not kidding, I’m even going to sell my soul (not quite sure of this part)
(quietly) Maybe not that
But you know what?
They’re not the initial members
But they’re members that would not be lacking, no matter where they go
I’m proud of them
Sometimes I feel sympathetic towards them
Sometimes, I’m deeply sad
I dreamed of being a rap star with them here
Just like Bang PD-nim said, I buried my roots here
Not causing problems, going with the flow
(literally, “As if I’m here, or not here, appropriately like that” –> “as if I’m here or not here” is a common phrase for not causing problems, so people find your presence natural and not out of place
Trying to appeal my presence all this time
And now, the debut is not far off
I’m thankful to the company
To such a good team, Bangtan
To allow me to live as a cool leader for them
To think that BTS will be written on the white A4 page on dressing room door
It makes my heart race
Makes me excited
It fills my heart all day
How will I leave a good impression?
I worry about things like that
I seem a bit insecure
But if I keep going like this, someday I’ll be a rap star
I won’t forget how I came with my untainted heart like a blank page when I was seventeen
Those initial feelings
I’ll carry with me always
BTS debut is really only a short time off now..I only realize now
And I just now realized that the important thing is not the ideals or reality
But the things that I trust in now
And the things I wish for
And that I will someday bloom brightly
These things were more important
The debut is really not far off!
Just like everyone else,
There was a childhood I wanted to go back to
Eating and reading comic books
Everything seemed to be mine back then
The worries back then were how much money I can get from my mom,
and which game I would play at the PC cafe
Why were those things so serious back then?
Back then, my whole world consisted of that apartment complex
Back then, we had so many dreams
From scientist to pro-gamer, to president
Where did all those many dreams go?
Now all our dreams are all the same
Back then, I didn’t need to wear a watch on my wrist
All I had to do was go home when the sun set after playing
There was no need to watch the time
Life was so leisurely
And we used to wander around
All the dragonflies and cicadas we used to catch
Now dragonflies signify something else to us.
잠자리 = dragon fly
I guess if you put a space there, 잠 자리 would be a place to sleep? I don’t know if that’s what he means.
Now even better at sleeping (not 100% sure of this part)
Now we’ve come to know too many things.
Can’t ever go back to that time
The world I’ve come to is too cruel
It’s so cold and so brutal
If I can go back to that time
I want to enjoy more of that time of simplicity
without thinking of the future
I want to just dream there