Agust D (BTS) – The Last (English Translation and Ramblings)

07. 마지막 (The Last)

Please read track 05, and 06 before reading this as there seems to be a chronological order to the lyrics.

Kind of sad lyrics but trying to be strong in the end.  He seems to fluctuate from feeling helpless, then trying to be strong, then being insecure, then cocky, then back and forth.  I think everyone experiences this though, to some extent…so I refuse to feel sorry for him (although this song made me tear up a bit the first time I listened to it.)

I’m pretty sure he’s gone through some tough stuff (as rambled on previously on my other post), but I’m sure this process of learning who he is will make him a better artist and a better person in the end.

Produced by Agust D, June, Pdogg
(Agust D, June, Pdogg)

Keyboard – Pdogg
Synthesizer – Pdogg
Rhythm Programming – June
Guitar – 정수완
Recording Engineer – Agust D @ Genius Lab
Pdogg @ Dogg Bounce
Mix Engineer – 김보성 @ BigHit Studio
Mastering Engineer – Alex DeYoung @ DeYoung Masters

On the dark side of a successful idol rapper
My frail self stands, a bit dangerous
Depression, compulsion, at times relapse
Hell no, maybe that’s just my true self.

Damn, huh.  Feeling separated from reality
Conflicts with ideals make my head hurt
Social phobia started around age 18.
Yeah, around that time my mind became more polluted

Sometimes I’m afraid of myself too, 
From the self-disgust and depression coming to play again
Min Yoongi is already dead (I killed him)
It’s been a long time since passion has died and comparing myself to others have become my daily life.

The first day I visited the psychiatry department, my parents came
to get counselling with me.  
My parents said that they don’t know me well
I don’t know myself well either.  Then who would know?
Friends?  You?  Nobody knows me well.

The doctor asked me
Have you ever.. “beeeeeeep” ? (Thanks Zea, in comments)
I said without hesitating, that there were times when I have.

Like a habit, I say “uh, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck”
All those saying are, uh, trying to hide my weakness
That time I want to erase.  Yeah, that day of performance that I can’t even remember,
Myself that looked back at me as I hid in the washroom, afraid of people.

That time I, that time I..
I thought success will make it all worthwhile
But you know, but you know
It feels like I’m becoming more of a monster as time passes.

The monster called success that I paid with my youth, wants more wealth
The greed that used to be my tool is now turning to swallow me, ruin me and put a leash around my neck
Some people forcefully cover my mouth and tell me to swallow this forbidden fruit
I don’t want it.  They want me to leave this garden.
Garden of Eden/Biblical reference.

Shit, shit, I get it.  Please just stop.
I’m the cause of all these issues anyway, so I’ll stop on my own
If my misfortune is your happiness, I’ll gladly be unfortunate
If your target of hatred is me, I’ll stand on the guillotine for you.

.

.

.

The things I had imagined become reality.  The childhood dream is in front of my eyes
The little shit that performed in front of crowd of two, is now heading towards Tokyo dome
There’s only one life, so I’m going to live with more fire than anyone else..
Anyone can just live along haphazardly.
My fan my hommie my fam, don’t worry, I’m really alright now, damn

After having denied what my essence is multiple times
My address is idol, I don’t deny it.
The anguish that dug into my mind many times
The end to wandering.  There was no answer.

My pride that I thought I had sold out, has now become my self-respect
My fans, I hope you hold your head up high with pride.  Who else would do as much as me? uh.
From Seiko to Rolex, from Ax to Gym
Seiko (~$200) to Rolex (often $10 000) watches.  Also reference to Nas – Nas Is Like (thanks, Annie in comments)
AX-Korea is a theatre (capacity ~ 2000), and Gym is the Olympic Gymnastics Stadium (capacity ~ 15 000)
Illustrating rise in popularity and success.
His recent Grazia interview is interesting.  He says he used to want things like expensive watches, but now feels like he doesn’t need these things anymore.
The tens of thousands that nod to the gestures from my hands
Show Me the Money.  It’s not that I couldn’t do it.  I didn’t do it.  Shit.
You guys that sold us out, it’s not that you didn’t do it.  You couldn’t do it.  Shit.
The roots of my creativity has tasted the world’s sweetness, bitterness, to shittiness. 
The days of trying to fall asleep on the floor of the bathroom is now bittersweet memory, uh, becomes memories.
I had my debut, while holding onto my shoulder that was injured in an accident during my part-time delivery job.
To whom do you think you’re pretending to have suffered hardship?
He mentions his aching shoulder in his part of the song “Rain.”

From Seiko to Rolex, from Ax to Gym
The tens of thousands that nod to the gestures from my hands
Watch me, uh.  Born out of anguish
You guys that sold us out, it’s not that you didn’t do it.  You couldn’t do it.  Shit.


Fun with Korean swear words!!!

I translated it as “The little shit that performed in front of crowd of two”, but he calls himself 좆밥.  Literally, it means smegma.  If you don’t know what smegma is, don’t look it up!

I love Korean language.


EDIT (Sept 2016):

Watched Samuel Buss‘s reaction to this song.   He was one of the first reactor that I ever watched, and his reaction to the Cyphers long ago was what got me to look into BTS’s lyrics more carefully…and to translate songs on this blog.

He says that “this isn’t just hip-hop, this isn’t just a song.”

I totally agree.  Isn’t it amazing when you encounter a work that transcends genre? ^^ Haters used to criticize the authenticity of idol hip hop….but when you have a song like this, it’s no longer relevant whether it’s hip-hop or not.

Watching some of the lyrics videos/reactions/comments to lyrics video… it’s been really incredible to see how many people identify with his struggles and feel encouraged.

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26 thoughts on “Agust D (BTS) – The Last (English Translation and Ramblings)

  1. “That time I want to erase. Yeah, that day of performance that I can’t even remember,
    Myself that looked back at me as I hid in the washroom, afraid of people. ” . I was wondering what concert he was referring to, I was thinking maybe BTS debut day?

  2. Recently came across this blog. Love it! Also wanted to say that the “Seiko to Rolex” line is a reference to lyrics in the song “Nas is Like” by Nas. :)

  3. what does it mean when he says “The tens of thousands that nod to the gestures from my hands
    Show Me the Money. It’s not that I couldn’t do it. I didn’t do it. Shit. You guys that sold us out, it’s not that you didn’t do it. You couldn’t do it. Shit.” what was he talking about

    1. for the “tens of thousands…”, he is saying that so many people go to concerts and listen to him. things like that. people listen to BTS basically.

      SMTM is kind of an idol-rapper “test” to some people. as in, “if you go SMTM as an idol-rapper and do well, then we see you as a credible rapper”. Bobby did this and was very respected by skill (but still hated..) so did MINO. he’s saying that he did not go on SMTM because he didn’t want to. it’s not that he never had the chance, he just chose not to.

      “guys that sold us out” – some people think he’s referring to past-BTS members, the members that were meant to debut with them but didn’t, mostly rappers too. he’s saying that they may have wanted to go on (did not) but they never had the chance (could not).

      1. I think “You guys who sold us out” refers to how rappers on SMTM/ underground rappers often mock idol rappers as sell-outs and no skill rappers who become idols for the money instead of staying loyal to the art. The line continues with “it’s not that you didn’t do it. You couldn’t do it.” Suga refers to the rappers criticizing Idol rappers by saying that they lacked the skill to reach success and wealth. They aren’t staying underground for the art but instead they aren’t capable of becoming successful or “selling out.”

        1. I personally think that with the line “it’s not that you didn’t do it. you couldn’t do it” Suga is saying the same thing as what he’s said in other interviews about this topic. Namely that underground rappers severely underestimate how much effort being an idol takes and how difficult it is to be one. He’s said that he himself had underestimated that, as well (he said this on a radio show when they talked about how bts was formed). The whole “sell-out” thing is also a reference to what underground rappers say, I think. They basically say that becoming an idol rapper is easier than being an underground rapper. Suga worked as an underground rapper for a while as well, but in order to reach his goals/dreams he joined bighit. After saying this, underground rappers basically called him a ‘sell-out’ because he gave up on being underground (because he was struggling with money, music, food etc) and chose the ‘easy path’. ( <– the b-free interview thingy with suga and rapmon)

      1. It’s a very un-hygienic condition that will grow on a penis ( especially one with a foreskin ) if the person doesn’t clean themselves. The Korean word for it 좆밥 ( as mentioned above ) looks like the individual Korean words for “penis” ( 좆, the vulgar way to say it, so the equivalent of ‘cock’ ) and “rice” ( 밥 means rice, but is used to mean food in a general sense* ), probably referring to rotting food… think bread mold.
        *Asking “Have you eaten?” in Korean can be “밥 먹었어요?” – literally “Have you eaten rice?”.

  4. I saw people in YouTube comments interpreting this line: “The days of trying to fall asleep on the floor of the bathroom is now bittersweet memory” as a reference to suicide too. Is “sleep” a metaphor for death in Korean too?

    1. Mmmm…. I don’t think that part is reference to suicide. Obviously, sleep is frequent metaphor for death in a lot of artistic works. But looking at the whole song and it’s context, I think he was just hiding out there and couldn’t come out and face the world. It’s just my opinion though…
      I just think the part that was beeped out is the doctor asking whether he’s had suicidal thoughts/attempts/thoughts of self harm. This is a standard/routine question that psychiatrists ask…. really nothing special. It’s weird to think that it can sound so sinister from patient’s point of view.

    2. addendeum to my previous reply:
      I saw somewhere (i forget where, but I think it was on some korean site) that this refers to his trainee days when they had more than a dozen people living in essentially a bachelor/one bedroom apartment…and some of them ended up sleeping in the bathroom because they had no space. So, sleeping in the bathroom could be just a reference to being very poor. (Don’t quote me though, ’cause I’m not sure where I read this..)

  5. Quick question, do you know whats the exact phrase that he uses in the part that’s semi-bleeped out (have you ever…) in korean? Just wondering if you knew or not, but thank you so so so much for the translations~!

    (P.S. FML WHEN U SAID DON’T LOOK UP THAT WORD I THOUGHT YOU MEANT LOOK IT UP WTF 0_0
    Need some brain bleach asap XD)

    1. The bleeped out part is:
      *beep* 적 있냐고 –> Had [you] ever *beep*
      Subject is often omitted and interpreted in context, thus the [square brackets].

      I hope you didn’t to google image that word. ^^ It means he used to be small/insignificant/worthless before….
      and now he’s heading towards his dream.

  6. When he said “MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES BECOME REALLITY” i think he meant that all his memories in the past became real. It hurts me seing him hurt because im totally his 1 fan. My advice to him is “DONT LET YOUR FEARS EAT YOU CONQUER IT WITH THE NEW YOU. BECAUSE YOUR TRUE SELF WINS THAN YOUR FAKE SELF. LET IT OUT, DONT KEEP IT, CAUSE I KNOW IF YOU WILL SUFFER MORE” thats all #LET IT OUT

  7. About the beeped out part. There is a deep voice saying “have you ever ….” I think he is speaking about suicide… :/

    1. Thanks~!
      I should be working right now. Work is so boring… ah..

      I think he was talking about suicide too. I’m in my 30’s now, and I’ve seen so many of my friends go through the suicidal phase in their teens and twenties, seen so much abuse and been victim of it too, that it kinda makes me blase to read these lyrics. I feel so numb and corrupted.

      The part that I found most touching was actually when he tells his fans to hold their head up in pride. Talking about past suffering doesn’t touch me as much as the fact that he came through it with head held high, with his integrity intact.

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